angel
06.08.08 (9:09 am) [edit]Would you mind if I borrow your time for several minutes? Actually, we can add the time if we want to, only if we comfort in it.
What would we do?
Just take a couple of steps and move our body very slowly.
hmmmm, it's kinda strange for me.
Just listen to the Sting's. There are so many angels tonight.
Are you sure they will stay if we are here?
No, they will run and hide their wings.
Too bad.
No. They will see a more beautiful angel is dancing.
He weaps the tears and sit down in the balcony with his cup of coffee.
karma
06.04.08 (8:42 am) [edit]Tadi sore, gue pergi ama nyokap demi menghibur diri yang sedang dilipur lara. Halah! Pergilah kami dengan menggunakan mobil gue. Trus, di salah satu ruas jalan, gue harus ngambil jlur kiri karena gue akan belok kiri. Jadi, gue ngasih sign kiri, kan.
Dan, diklaksonlah gue ama mobil yang ada di kiri, sebuah minibus hitam. Maksud gue sabar aja, kalo dia nggak ngasih, gue juga mau untuk nunggu ngambil jalan mobil di belakang dia. Trus, dia langsung mepet gila gitu ama mobil di depannya biar gue nggak bisa nyelip ngambil jalan di kiri. Gue biarkanlah hal itu terjadi.
Sementara, barisan mobil gue harus berenti. Jadi, dia bisa berenti samping mobil gue persis tuh, kan. Berhentilah dia dan menengoklah dia ke gue dengan wajah geram. Sambil ngeliat gue, mobil dia tetep maju pelan-pelan.
And you know what? Dia menabrak mobil di depannya karena dia nggak ngeliat depan, dia ngeliat dengan geram ke arah gue. I laughed out loud.
Karma does exist.
failure
06.04.08 (8:18 am) [edit]three time of failure in a month. it's too much, isn't it?
it seems like i have tried everything i could, but i got nothing.
chris martin said, you don't know what you're worth if you don't try.
and here i am, worthless.
dream part 2
05.30.08 (7:10 pm) [edit]she was walking to his home. turned out, he just came out from his house, with short pants and tshirt. he was standing in the doorway. i remember his face, but i just have to act normally.
her phone was ringing. she took it and tried to read the name. it's a little hard because she was sleeping before. finally, she could read. his name on it.
"are you sleeping?"
"yap."
"ok, then. you can have your sleep again."
"no. what's wrong?"
"nothing. it is not important."
"tell me. what is important? i couldn't find it anymore."
after a long time, the dream has shown her that it still has meaning.
then, she was noone. she is just someone who can try to heal the bored. just like old times, sir.
dream
05.30.08 (7:00 pm) [edit]i've been sleeping too long. I should wake up and starting all my day. I mean, my whole day, not only in the morning and have a rest after.
i just have to wake up. fixing all the failed that i've done. weap my tears. trying to find my dream.
its hard to be a better person.
impian
05.29.08 (4:29 am) [edit]Semua orang sudah mulai sibuk dengan impian masing-masing
aku pun begitu, sayang saja, impianku mulai tertinggal entah di mana
everything never be the same
04.06.08 (9:33 am) [edit]Someone said that brother and sister means forever. First time she heard it she absolutely agree with it.
Time goes by, and she became partly agree with it.
When someone decided to make a commitment with others, they had to leave some of their part of live.
When she hasn't decided to make a commitment to anybody, she is the one who was left by others. Brother or sister is one of them. Maybe they didn't want to be like that, but they have to.
She was sitting in this room. A long time ago she used to be spend some night with him in this room. Made a joke, watched some movies, smoked, cried, told stories, and many other activities. She has to do it by herself now. She knows it will be like this. She always thinks that she is ready. She always has to show that she is ready, eventhough it needs a lot of tears. He's just never knew it. He doesn't need to.
She was left like this twice. She thought the third time would be easier, but it wasn't. It isn't easier, even a bit.
1053pt
04.06.08 (9:00 am) [edit]She fell down several times. He was there to help her.
She couldn't get back to the boat, he pulled her up.
Yesterday, he just did the right things and it made her happy. Actually, makes her comfortable.
Then one day, if one of them has to go so far for a long time, they will realized how close is their friendship.
Someday, he must know how worry this girl about him.
One day, they have to be a man and a woman that had a lot of great memories, but they should act like they didn't have anything.
Some years later, they have to remember those stories in their mind alone.
she was wondering why she can not be as feminine as most of women
04.06.08 (8:47 am) [edit]She has two elder brothers and one elder sister. They all had married.
Now, she is living with her parents. And, have to admit, her parents are not young anymore. They have a lot of new hobbies lately. One of them is having a fish.
There is one fish in their house. First day they bought it, there are only she and her father. Her father had to put some cable on the ceiling. He couldn't go up on the chair or something. Therefore, she stood on a chair to reach the ceiling. She put the cable on it. She help her father.
The big question has an answer. She had been prepared to take care of her father in these days. When her elder brothers and sister were busy with their family, she was there. Everything has a reason and soon we will know it.
love does exist
04.06.08 (8:11 am) [edit]He came to her house. A cake was on his hand. "Enjoy your bday. Miss u, my bear!" was written on it. He took a picture of her and that cake. After that, he was sitting on the couch in the living room.
"How's thing going on?"
"Not well."
He told me about how his relationship was going on. WAS. Past tense.
I thought I just had a chat with his girlfriend yesterday and she didn't say anything about her relationship.
He is sad. Deeply sad. He tried to laughed to not show his dissapoinment. I also laughed. I hope he will fell better if someone is not sad hearing his story. It is not a sad sorry, maybe it is just not happy ending story.
He walked away. He will send that surprises to his girlfriend that is in Australia tomorrow. He feels sorry for what he had done. He will do anything to make it work out.
There is still a man who is falling in love with a women with all his heart. I just can't believe it, eventhough there is distance between them.
Salute!
Pssst, love does exist. It's in their world. Is there any in mine?
man with a hat
03.26.08 (4:31 am) [edit]A hat on his head. She just could see a sweater that he wore from the back side, but she knew it was him.
He turned his body then walked to the small shop on the corner. She saw him in the middle of crowd. He smiled, bought a bottle of mineral water, and chatted with someone beside him. I think they just talked about music or something.
He was on the stage with his guitar. He smiled and spoke some words. He also told the audience about his thoughts on piracy. Then, he continued to sing in a low tone. Deep voice. And, she can hear his voice till midnight, till the day after, and after. Still. Alone.
Jakarta, oh, Jakarta
03.11.08 (8:29 am) [edit]Traffic was horrible. I had to spent two hours in the middle of traffic. What did I get? My student had to cancel a lesson that shoul be started at 8.30pm. However, I just got that area at 9pm. Sucked!
Fortunately, this kind student would reschedule the lesson till Friday afternoon. It means, I will be late to attend an english course. Whatever, it is my consequence.
Jakarta, oh, Jakarta, how pathetic you are. Too many people do not care about you. Too many people are busy with theirself.
I have to write about Jakarta from Kinyi's point of view, one of my favourite student. He helped me to be openminded. Thank you, Sir.
late at night
03.10.08 (8:55 am) [edit]-i- nih: masih ada di dunia maya
bayu maitra: iya,,,kan critanya deadline..
bayu maitra: knp putus ie?
-i- nih: ooooo
-i- nih: hahahahaha
-i- nih: komunikasi nggak lancar, bay
-i- nih: prioritasnya lagi sama2 beda
-i- nih: sedaaaaaaaaaaaap
-i- nih: hehe
bayu maitra: pake bahasa tubuh donk..hehehe
bayu maitra: biar lancar..
bayu maitra:
-i- nih: hahaha
bayu maitra: prioritasnya emang apa sih?
-i- nih: gua kan lagi getol les bahasa inggris ama ngajar
-i- nih: dia lagi seneng ama kerjaan barunya
-i- nih: begitu
bayu maitra: ya trus?
bayu maitra: kan sama2 seneng..
bayu maitra:
-i- nih: iya, tapi jadi slaing minta perhatian dan susah ngerti
-i- nih: sebenernya masih bisa, sih
-i- nih: tp gua nunggu inisiatif dia aja, hehe
-i- nih: tp kyknya dia juga melakukan hal yang sama
-i- nih: jadi, yasudahlah, hehe
-i- nih: nunggu babay aja deh sekarang
-i- nih: halah
bayu maitra: yah,,,sayang tau ie..
bayu maitra: udah brp lm sie?
-i- nih: sebenernya lamanya kan bukan satu2nya tolak ukur, hehe
-i- nih: 1,5 tahun kok baru
-i- nih: gak baru sih buat gua haha
bayu maitra: tetep aja..
bayu maitra: kalo masih bs diusahain sih usaha donk...
bayu maitra: ampe tuntas..
bayu maitra: biar ga penasaran...
-i- nih: hehe, berasa "gua mulu ya yang usaha"
-i- nih: perasaan aja sih
-i- nih: tp kan ada titik batas juga, bay
bayu maitra: ya sih..
bayu maitra: tau ga..
-i- nih: lagi butuh pembuktian aja kali, ya
-i- nih: apa?
bayu maitra: pasti dia juga ngerasa "gue mulu yg usaha"...hehehe
-i- nih: iya, hehe
-i- nih: makanya, gua bilang, lagi sama2 cari perhatian
bayu maitra: trus..
bayu maitra: knp ga sama2 ngasih perhatian??
bayu maitra:
-i- nih: ini ibarat orang sakit, bay
-i- nih: hehe, biar sembuh harus diperhatiin, mau merhatiin kan lagi susah
bayu maitra: itulah..
bayu maitra: padahalkan sembuh datengnya dari dalem..bukan dr luar..
bayu maitra: tapi yaudahlah..cari cowo lagi lah,,,
bayu maitra:
-i- nih: hahaha
-i- nih: pasti udah makin susah, deh
bayu maitra: tul..
bayu maitra: sama aja kaya gue..hahaha
-i- nih: emang lo kenapa, bay?
bayu maitra: lha kan gue gitu..
bayu maitra: pacaran ngga,,
bayu maitra: putus jg ngga.
-i- nih: jadi?
bayu maitra: yaudah..
bayu maitra: gini aja
-i- nih: gimana?
bayu maitra: jalan aja..
bayu maitra: kalo jodoh ya ayo..
bayu maitra: kalo ngga yaudah...
bayu maitra:
-i- nih: hahaha
-i- nih: dari dulu juga pake prinsip itu
-i- nih: tapi, susah juga tau mana jodoh mana bukan
-i- nih: firstly, everything seems so perfect
-i- nih: but then,
-i- nih: hahaha
bayu maitra: yah kalo ngga usaha mana bs jadi jodoh..
bayu maitra: mana tau itu jodoh kalo ngga ngalamin yg paling jelek dr suatu hubungan..
bayu maitra: kita harus ambil hikmah dari telenovela
bayu maitra:
-i- nih: haha, iya sih
-i- nih: being hurt makes us stronger
bayu maitra:
-i- nih: kalo gua bilang, ini salah satu cara gua untuk nentuin jodoh, hahaha
-i- nih: tetep self defense
bayu maitra: yauwis kalo gitu..
bayu maitra: eh..gue mau perang2an dulu ye...
-i- nih: menangin!
no difference
03.09.08 (6:44 pm) [edit]"we hurt each other. we have to stop here."
"you give up easily."
"everyone is looking for happiness. why do we stop here to hurt each other?"
"okay. see you." He hung up the phone.
She laid back to the bed. She was doing nothing for a while. Then, she took a ciggarette box and lighter beside the bed. One ciggarette was burnt. Smoke was flying in the room, while tears dropped slowly in her face.
They spent almost two years together. They have done so many extraordinary things together. Now, they have to be accustome with live alone.
"Actually, there will be no difference. Together or to be alone has small difference. We had no time to communicate so well," she put the ciggarette in to an asthray. She took a car keys. She went to the 24-hours-store to get a bottle of beer.
Stars accompanied her to spend that night. Just like the other nights.
just like us
03.07.08 (10:31 am) [edit]Weekend is very special, especially for people who has rough time in weekdays. They must be looking forward for some fun.
For some people, they try to find it with their friends. Some of them try to find it with their lover. However, sometimes people have different way to have fun. When they are in the same place, but in different ways, some of them must be very dissapointed. They won't get what they are trying to find. The most terrible thing, they couldn't find it anywhere else because it was the only one place that they wish they can get it.
They would go home with an empty heart.
too much is not neccesary
03.05.08 (6:57 am) [edit]The rain was dropped right in their head. They started to run to that simple coffee house, their favourite place.
They sat on side of the window. He went to bar table to order two cups of hot coffe latte. When he came back to their table, she was looking to outside and watching rain drops. It was just like tears, she tought in her mind. He sat next to her.
Air conditioner made that room more cold. She looked freezing there. He offered his jacket for her, but she refused. "I'm okay," she just said. He asked again to make sure, but he was gotten the same answer.
Actually, she was freezing like crazy. In the other hand, she just played with her own mind. She wanted that jacket to cover her. She also want to make an image that she doesn't need his caring. She just need him to be there, just like he did. It was more than enough.
Too much is not neccesary.
Socializing The Sign Language
03.04.08 (9:29 am) [edit]Sign language is a language that not using an oral, but concept of the meaning and presenting it in movement. Generally, this language is used by people who has hearing problem. Nowadays, there are some people learn this language to communicate with them. They try to beak down the language barrier.
In some of developing countries, pepole with hearing problem get rights which they must have. For an example, they are able to work, not just as a labour, but in a professional field too. They can work in university reaseachers. In addition, they also can have a job in designer field. They can be great designers since they would use more efficiently their other sencibilities, except hearing sencibility.
Other right that they must get is equality in law and political status. According to the news, there were some people with hearing problem become sexual arrestment victims. They became victims because of their disability. They had less possibility to tell authorized people because it's hard for them to communicate in a minority language. It could make they are hard done by authorized people.
Those cases happen in my country, Indonesia. In contrary, there are less people want to study sign language. Most people would think they do not need to be able to communicate in sign language. Do they think in the opposite point of view? Do people with hearing problem not need them to learn sign language? It does not mean people with hearing problem dont learn oral language. Actually, they have to learn oral language in some ways. They have to be able to read lip movements. They also try to communicate in oral language, but other people just walk away because the dont understand.
In conclusion, there must be a way to socialize sign language in countries that have not respect people with hearing problem, especially Indonesia--as I know. This is a simple way to break down the language barrier and make them equal with others--people who can hear perfectly.
batik
03.04.08 (8:53 am) [edit]Today, I decided to wear batik after a long time it was hanged on my clothes closet. Last time I wore it, my friend said, "Wow, you look no different with goverment employee.", laughing out luod.
I taught my Hungarian students this morning. I just sit in their study room, and the husband said, "You look beautiful this morning. I like your clothe."
Meanwhile, local people busy to make sure their appearance looks like western.
Maybe, foreigners would more respect other's culture.
when
03.04.08 (8:44 am) [edit]when we forget to bring an umbrella, but have to chase a bus for an important interview
when we have to walk in a long way, but the time is not enough
when we need to cry, but the tears are already finished
when so many stories have to be told, but noone listen
when we feel deeply, but the heart have never show up
when alone and together has no difference
just miss my grandpa
03.04.08 (8:31 am) [edit]For the second time, I met an old man in transjakarta. He smiled at me.
Just like most of older men do, he gave me spirit to continue my dreams.
He who just knows me once in a while gave his best smile and brought a big hope in the future.
Another story from someone who I just knew.
The Art of "I Just Know"
02.29.08 (8:36 pm) [edit]"Weren't you accustomed to do that?"
"Where did you know that?"
"I just know."
It seems like simple sentence, but not often be said to everyone. It has several meanings.
One of them is the person who said it might be know ing you for a long time. It shows that he/she knows you well enough, eventhough sometimes you just dont realize it.
foreigner in transjakarta
02.29.08 (8:46 am) [edit]Today, I went to Kuningan by transjakarta which Jakarta citizen usually called bus way--doesn't it mean the road, not for the bus? By the way, I sit in the backside. On the other side, I saw a foreigner sit by himself. He was reading a book contains Indonesian phrases. Wow! I would like to sit beside him and talk about Indonesian. Who knows he would be interested to be one of my future students? Haha, you wish!
Yes, it is the best thing to know someone from overseas want to study our language. it means they want to be one of us. They have eager to be equal with us. I will bw greatful to teach them bahasa Indonesia. Just like what I have done for these two years.
completely frustating
02.29.08 (8:03 am) [edit]My first priority or ambition is study abroad, for now of course. What can I do? Im not fluent speaking english, even listening, reading, and writing. It's not a big problem if it only uses common vocabularies. However, if it is used, academic or professional vocabulares, im dead. Suddenly!!
In that order, I have to take an english course, the intensive one. I have been taking IELTS peparation in someplace in Kuningan, South Jakarta for three weeks. What did I get? Frustation! My classmates are very fluent communicating in English. If the teacher give a test, they must get better mark than me. The course is three two weeks left. I think will redo this preparation, but I don't have enough money to make it.
One of the requirements to apply a scholarship for master degree is an IELTS test result of 6,5 to 7 without one aspect below 6. Today, I had a reading test in class. You know what? I even dont understand 1 passage. There are too many new vocabulary for me and they are too serious. I went home in a pesimist condition. Then, I came up with this idea. Write a story in English. I just realized, I used common vocabulary in this. Oh, please remind me those words, such as assesment, suscint, concise, imprioners, reliable, argh! Stop this! I haven't study sign language yet. I just forgot signing some words.